I treasure the letter my daughter wrote to me this mothers day. To witness her vulnerability and purity transmitted through words. To behold the beauty of her hearts true expression, was healing soothing balm for my own. When all you see and feel in the layers of your body is the dense and fallen world, and within your heart contains the bitter heavy lull. Her letter came at a time of great upheaval in our life …with edges worn and frayed. She has allowed me to share excerpts, and i do so with great pride. I wish to honor her sight, and her abilities to feel with such sincerity and depth. To be seen as a mother in this light by your daughter is a gift beyond measure.
” I remember before you brought me into this world , I was given a choice. ( she elaborated and said she was a baby crawling down a white long hall filled with women standing shoulder to shoulder ,she saw me in that row ) You were mine. Because I knew in these 18 years , and the next 18 years, and the next … that you will continue to give me your unconditional love. I’m so lucky and grateful to have someone as divine as you in my life. Someone who turns my pain into nourishment and inspiration. Someone who has been broken but used that to make their love stronger. I am learning from you to be patient accepting , grounded , peaceful. I thank you for the qualities you’ve given to me, and the qualities I’ve yet to adopt. Thank you for holding me when i cried, for nourishing my body with whole foods, for wanting to help. The list could fill this entire notebook. I love you mom, and we will see the horses together. ” ~ Indigo .
The timing of this peace above coincided with the fullness of lilacs blooming season. Her intoxicating scent echos euphoric waves through my being , as i want to curl up at her blossoming breast just allowing her healing to wash me. She has such a gift of mothering the heart after long lengths of trauma or hardship. Offering her love to the most numb, degraded , disgusted, and cynical places inside.
I remember when my daughter was little and having the holiest experiences whilst breastfeeding her. Peering down and caressing her tiny cheek , as she suckled into the most blissful states love and safety. Visioning the trinity amongst the dark sky through bright glowing stars.
I began to bring her physically in , through micro doses of the gemmotherapy extract ( 1 – 3 drops) every morning. Experiencing a similar sense of being at my own mothers breast, her milk flowing gracefully … softening the armor around my heart. Gently diffusing the weight as I open to her love. This love lives within the cells of the earth , cradled and held by the mother. Such generosity…
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